Title : Insecure - Prologue: Don't Even Know Me
Author : Mei Li
Rating : PG
Pairing : Megumi/Mimura
Spoilers : Nope, it's as if Battle Royale never happened
Disclaimer : All characters are reserved to their respective owners and such...
Summary : How could someone so shy ever live up to someone so outspoken?
Author’s Note : First Ever BR fic...yeah.
Prologue: Don’t Even Know Me
I didn’t know what a crush was supposed to feel like. I would collect pictures of him, just to stare at them, each one making me wonder why I was doing this even more. I know I’m not the only one with my sights on him. He’s a star athlete, and not to mention modest about it, and, of course, good-looking. What’s there not to love? How is a girl like me supposed to resist?
Of course, it’s not like this is ever going to happen, which is why I tend to disbelieve that this is a crush. Rather, I’d like to think of it as more of an obsession, just something for me to do in my spare time. You know, like how I used to look up boy bands, or tear out pictures of cute actors from magazines, that type of stuff. I often speak to Noriko-san about it. She tends to disagree with me. She says it’s something much more than that. She says it’s different when your heart races whenever you see him. So what? I bet my heart would race if I met Brian Joo in person.
But somehow Noriko-san’s works creep around my mind, turning itself over and over, making me rethink my logic. I don’t think I would be nervous to speak around Brian Joo, I don’t think I would try to evade him to avoid making myself look like an idiot. I don’tt understand any of this. Why does it have to be so hard and complicated? Why can’t it be simple?
Anyhow, it’s not like it’s possible. Everyone knows that Mimura is sexually active, and even so, he shows tendencies of a misogynist. And why would he choose me over any other girl like, say, Souma Mitsuko? Nobody knows what he looks for in a girl, either. So there’s no way to predict. And with no way to predict, there’s no way to know for sure. And with no way to know for sure, then there’s no way I can tell him without me knowing I wouldn’t get myself hurt. I’m not brave enough to do it if it were any other way. So I guess I’m going to have to just wait until it all goes away…
I doodled lazily into my notebook, scribbling away little chibi characters, all doing something silly. I’m not really good in math or science; all the other subjects, I’m great at, but I can I never really pay attention in math. But this day, maybe I should have been paying attention instead of doodling in my notepad, because the teacher called on me to finish the half done problem on the board. I stared at the complicated problem, not knowing at all how to do it, but the teacher continued to stare me down, so I reluctantly stood up and walked to the chalkboard. I put the felt tip of the marker to the board and froze. How was I supposed to finish this problem if I didn’t know how?
I could feel the eyes of my peers staring into my back. I began to sweat, and the marker in my hand began to quiver. The teacher let out a sigh, signaling that he knew both that I wasn’t paying attention, and that I had no idea how to do the problem.
“You may sit down know Etou,” he said, thoroughly disappointed. I let out a weak smile and proceeded towards my seat.
‘Gah, how embarrassing,’ I thought to myself as I took notes while Mimura finished the problem. I sunk into my seat. About a long 25 minutes later, class was dismissed and school was over. I gathered my things, which were scattered all over my desk, making me one of the last to leave. Mimura must have had his things in the same manner, because he was still in the classroom with me.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” said our teacher. “I’m glad you two are still here. I need to speak with you both. I quietly swung my bag over my shoulder, and walked unconfidently towards the teacher, Mimura following closely, letting me walk by first. “OK. Mimura, you are doing great in both science and math, but Megumi…well, let’s just say that maybe you’re doing less than what you could achieve.” I bowed my head silently, my cheeks burning. “But Mimura, you’re…also not achieving in all your other subjects, while Megumi excels in them. So, I suggest that you both get together and tutor each other. Now, this is merely a suggestion, and I can’t force you two to do it, but I can almost guarantee that it would help you two a great deal.” With that over with, the teacher retreated to the back room.
I nodded, my heart skipping a beat. I looked up at Mimura’s face, and saw not a change in his demeanor. I was excited, but also terrified. I didn’t know what it was going to be like, nor did I know how to act in front of him. I had never actually spoken to him. Rather, I would just talk to his friends, who were also my friends. I let out a small sigh and realized this was just going to be hell for me, but I also knew that I really needed to get my math and science grades up. So I knew I was just going to have to trudge through the extreme heats of hell.